Sunday, September 23, 2007

Less Is More When It Comes To Guys

As a girl with a long and illustrious history of crushes, this was one of the hardest lessons I ever learned when it came to guys. It involves going against every instinct and emotion roiling through you when you like a guy. But, if you take this lesson to heart, the attention of the man of your dreams will be much, much closer. Here's the lesson:

A pretty simple lesson, right? The less attention you pay to a guy, the more attention you'll get from him. Trust me, this works.

I learned this lesson in college with the guy I was severely crushing on. We hung out with the same group of friends (ah, the theatre department) so we spent a lot of time together. I usually spent a lot of time focusing on him. Listening to him. Watching him. Talking to him. Dancing with him. And what did all this focus get me in return? Nothing. Nada. No interest whatsoever. I would eventually get so upset and fed up with him ignoring me that I would turn around and (try) to forget him. This usually involved ignoring and avoiding him. Inevitably, he would strike up a conversation, charm me, and I'd be right back in the throes of the crush.

Well, I got so tired of this yo-yo ride that I decided to do a conscious experiment. One night, at a party we were both attending, I decided that I would ignore him all night. I was still completely crushing on him, but I would push my feelings aside for the sake of my experiment. I spoke to everyone but him, walked away when he approached, and generally treated him like a leper. (Not in a mean way, I swear.) Sure enough, before the night was over when was chatting me up, teasing me, and flirting with me. Success!

If I could go back in time and teach my teenage self one thing it would be this: there is nothing a guy finds more attractive than a girl who isn't interested. (Okay, Steph, that and big boobs.)

Anyone have a similar experience?


Dutton Children's Books, May 2008


stephhale said...

This is absolutely true! They love the chase. :)

TinaFerraro said...

First of all, I LOVE the experiment, TLC! I must be a frustrated scientist at heart because that's just the kind of test I would have run, too.

And yep, The Chase is a sure-fire winner, and one I wish I'd known back when, too.

Heather Davis said...

Okay, that's true, for the most part. You should never "chase" boys, as my sister told me. But, some guys like the mutual chase thing, the give and take. Maybe it depends on the boy. Sad to say, but this is still true of grown men. ;)


Christina said...

Wow, I guess it's true. haha. I'll keep that in mind now! It's almost time for homecoming. . . . .(sneaky eyes&evil chuckle) Thanks for the heads-up!!