We are talking this week about finding our way in the world and decisions we have made. The heroine from my most recent novel, The Alpha Bet, struggles with making her own decisions. For sixteen years Grace Kelly has had a helicopter mother who has pretty much controlled her every move. She dreams of the day when she can finally make all of her own decisions. But when she gets dropped into the middle of a college campus and finally has the opportunity to make all of her decisions, she realizes quickly how unprepared she is. She learns that being an adult isn't just making your own decisions, but owning up to the bad decisions you might make. She realizes that in the past it was easier to blame things on her mother so that she wouldn't have to take responsibility. Grace Kelly ends up learning that sometimes the answers you are looking for don't come from a book.I was guilty of some of the same things that Grace Kelly was when I was younger. I desperately wanted to be independent but when I wasn't comfortable making a decision about something, I would usually blame it on my mother. To me, learning to make your own decisions is a lot like learning to walk. Nobody just gets up for the first time and struts across the room. Eventually you are going to fall. And even after you've been doing it for a while, every now and then, you'll trip.
Did any of you use your parents as scapegoats if you weren't comfortable making a decision as a teen?
Congrats to Marley and make sure you pick up a copy of The Counseling!
xo,
Stephanie
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11 comments:
Definitely, yes, Steph! I remember that every now and then, someone would ask me to ditch classes. And that was not my style, so I'd fall back on the excuse that my parents would flip if I did and they found out. Which was true, of course, but even truer was that I just didn't want to ditch!
No..I was very outspoken and told everyone what was on my mind and made all my own decisions.Besides my parents weren't around a lot so passing the buck to them,people would know I was lying.
I have definitely used my parents (mostly my mom, but if I say my dad, then it really is serious) as scapegoats. My mother even says that she is perfectly fine with us kids using her to keep out of trouble and to get out of situations that we are uncomfortable with. She would rather have others think she is over-protective than have her kids do something they would probably regret. Though I have learned to speak for myself over time, I still like knowing that I have this option. I am very headstrong and driven, so I know what I want and should do for myself and what's right and what's wrong for me.
I just finished The Counseling!!!!!--and now I need to track down the others--super good!!
And I can't tell you how much I LOVED The Alpha Bet--but it's A LOT!!!! :)
I actually have more of a helicopter sister than parents--but they're the best family I could have wished for.
But yeah, even though I don't want to admit it, when things don't go my way, it's so much easier to try and blame someone else--But mostly I just do this in my head...
...although, (even though we're both adults) my sister and I have never been big "partiers" or big into drinking or bars or clubs, and sometimes I do use her as an excuse when I don't feel like going out.
Drinking parties in high school- geesh! I always used my parents as an excuse (they would ground me until I entered a retirement home!) I am thankful I had them to fall back on as an excuse:)
My mother's not a helicopter parent; she's more of a smotherer. Even though I'm in college, my mother was the one who planned out my schedule, got my books, and dealt with my scholarship stuff. i suspect that she would have walked to my classes if she didn't have to work. It's just so much easier to let her do what she wants because otherwise it ends in a fight. She's kicked 2 of my siblings out for mundane reasons, and she''ll have no problem doing the same to me. i don't have a job or place to go, so I just bite my tongue and continue to develop a potion for invisiblity.
I don't think I ever had a choice when I was a teen. I was a good girl and I went with whatever my parents told me to. i was brought up in that kind of family.
Thanks to everyone for your comments! It's good to know that I'm not the only one who used/uses my parents as scapegoats! ;)
Not really no. I mostly did what I was told until I left for college.
I got sick and was trying to finish up the gena sholwater giveaway. But you no longer have the letter i need on your site. can you help?
thank you
Lora
chaarmedone1512@aol.com
Yes, back in high school my friends are into "sleepovers" (aka staying up late doing bad stuff) and they would invite me but I wasn't into all that craziness so I used my parents as scapegoats all the time.
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