Saturday, January 27, 2007

Guy Friends

Is it easier to be friends with guys or girls?

For me it was always guys. All through school, my best friends -- save one bff, were boys. Boys you can trust. Boys don't envy you. Boys have your back.

Not that girls can't do the same thing.... I have one best friend from HS who still has my back, even if it's long distance over the phone.

But there is one problem with the whole guys as friends thing.

Boys who are friends can develop into something else entirely, which can either be a great thing or a not so good thing. And you risk that awkwardness if and when you start to like your guy friend as more than, but he's not thinking that way at all.

So what about you guys? Did you ever or do you have a best friend who's a guy? Did you ever have a guy friend turn into something else...? (And just for the record, I don't mean a frog.)

Inquiring minds want to know...



Heather Davis is the author of
Never Cry Werewolf
coming in 2008 from HarperCollins.


TinaFerraro said...

Hey, Heather, great post!

Most of my really close friends have been female, but I've enjoyed a no-agenda, say-it-like-it-is openness with several guys in my life.

And while this sounds like a shameless plug, I have to say that my spring '08 release, How to Hook a Hottie, examines what you mentioned about the guy BFF who may or may not turn into more. So obviously, I've dwelled on that topic a bit. :)


stephhale said...

I've always stuck with the girls. Guys are fun to hang with, but they just don't get girl stuff!


Anonymous said...

Yes, I do have a friend that's a guy. We've been friends for 26 yrs. When he was married, I rarely heard from him and it wasn't until recently (last year, in September, when I asked him to stand up with me at my own wedding) that he told me why. His wife was jealous of our friendship! He had told her about me up front and she said she was okay with it. Apparently, she wasn't. He only called me when she wasn't home or when he was driving home. I was shocked. He's no longer married to the bitch, Thank God. He's with someone else, but needless to say, we're going to be best friends until the day we die. Granted, it's a long distance friendship (he now lives in Montana with his environmentalist GF), but if either one of our significant others couldn't handle the fact that our best friends were of the opposite sex, then, there's the door. Don't let it smack you in the ass on the way out.

My other closest friend is female and I've known her for almost 20 yrs. She stood up at my wedding, too.

Marley Gibson said...

Well, Heather...I've always had great friendships with guys in high school, college and in my work career. I find it fascinating how open and honest a guy will be with a girl friend. I've learned a lot about guys that way. My hubby is my best friend of all.

In high school, I my best friend was a guy. While I had a crush on him in like 7th grade, I grew out of it and considered his friendship more of a brotherly type thing than anything.

I admit, though, that I love stories where a heroine falls for her guy best friend. So classic and fun!

Marley = )

Anonymous said...

I've had friends who were guys, but never super, super close. As I get older I find it easier to be friends with guys--now that I'm more comfortable with myself and confident and all that. Still, I don't think anything can replace a best girlfriend for secrets and tears.

Like Marley, one of my all-time-fave romantic plots is best friends turn into something more. The very first romance story I wrote (a 5,000 word short story) was about this. Only in my fantasy, the guy always knows way before the girl... I think that's true for almost every hero I write.