Friday, August 17, 2007

You never forget your first true love.

At the end of my freshman year of high school I decided to join Student Council. One of my friends took an interest in a junior, named Todd, who also joined Student Council. My friend was not a joiner so she was not in Student Council. Anybody see where this is going?

I tried not to like him. I really, really did. But he was impossible to ignore. Then he started showing up at my house every morning to pick me up for school. He was relentless. I was a loyal friend. I rejected every date he suggested, refused his rides to school, etc. I wouldn't even sniff him, no matter how good his Drakkar smelled.

One night a bunch of friends (including the one who liked Todd), and some guys (including Todd) got together. I don't remember what we did but at one point I went up to my friends bedroom. It was kind of like in the attic with really low ceilings. I think I was getting lip-gloss or something. Todd followed me. I remember turning around and there he was, like millimeters away from me, with his head bent toward me. I nearly crumpled to the floor. I was completely drunk on Drakkar, his eyes, and his perfect lips that were closing in on mine. I knew that it would be the kiss to end all kisses. I was so glad I had run up to reapply my lip-gloss. He came closer, and just as I was about to close my eyes, he kissed me on the cheek. HUH????
He said, "This is the way you want it, right?" I just nodded like an idiot. I watched him pull away in his beast of a 1978 Thunderbird and felt sick. I wanted him. Bad. But I wanted to be a good friend too.

Luckily, my friend knew exactly what was going on. She realized that Todd didn't like her that way and she encouraged me to go for it. I know, how lucky am I to have her? We are still the best of friends!

Since we didn't have cell phones, Myspace, or really anything cool back then I think I actually had to call him on a landline. He came and got me and we went driving around. That ugly car he drove ended up being a total pimp mobile because the windows were practically black they were tinted so dark. Our first kiss was in my driveway. I still remember that The Flame by Cheap Trick was playing. It was perfect.

Todd and I were together for a long time. Like two and a half years. We were wonderful together and horrible together. We took turns breaking each others hearts until the final time. I took him to my junior prom because the guy I really wanted to go with (who I will refer to as, the biggest mistake I ever made) was going with someone else. The deal was that after prom I would dump Todd and TBMIEM and I would be together forever. Todd was onto me and came to my house two weeks before prom saying that he wasn't going to go if I was just going to break up with him. I did what any seventeen-year-old girl would do when faced with the prospect of no date for prom, I lied my butt off. I dumped him the minute he dropped me off the morning after prom. Sorry, Todd.

Anyway, as I got older, I realized how lucky I was that Todd was my first real boyfriend. I was so naive and in love. For just a boy, he was pretty careful with my heart. I also realized that even though he may have caused me some pain back then, it wasn't about me, and it didn't mean that he didn't love me. Because for a while I know that he did.

What I'm reading now....You had me at Halo by Amanda Ashby


TinaFerraro said...

Wow, Steph...what a story! I think many of us have been in the situation where the-guy-a-friend-likes likes us, and I applaud how you stayed loyal until she gave you the green light!

He sounds like a great guy, and I hope he's gone on to good things...

alexgirl said...

Cute story Steph. That guy sounds pretty decent, considering how retarded high school boys can be!
All this talk of young love... I wonder what ever happened to Luke whatever-his-last-name-was who I was in love with in 7th grade. The love was not reciprocated, damn him!!!
Have a good weekend.

Elizabeth O Dulemba said...

Loved your story Steph. Took me back . . . ahhhh.

Dona Sarkar-Mishra said...

geez, I want to steal that lip-gloss, cheek-kiss scene for my next book...may I?

So sexy :)