You never forget your first true love.

At the end of my freshman year of high school I decided to join Student Council. One of my friends took an interest in a junior, named Todd, who also joined Student Council. My friend was not a joiner so she was not in Student Council. Anybody see where this is going?

I tried not to like him. I really, really did. But he was impossible to ignore. Then he started showing up at my house every morning to pick me up for school. He was relentless. I was a loyal friend. I rejected every date he suggested, refused his rides to school, etc. I wouldn't even sniff him, no matter how good his Drakkar smelled.

One night a bunch of friends (including the one who liked Todd), and some guys (including Todd) got together. I don't remember what we did but at one point I went up to my friends bedroom. It was kind of like in the attic with really low ceilings. I think I was getting lip-gloss or something. Todd followed me. I remember turning around and there he was, like millimeters away from me, with his head bent toward me. I nearly crumpled to the floor. I was completely drunk on Drakkar, his eyes, and his perfect lips that were closing in on mine. I knew that it would be the kiss to end all kisses. I was so glad I had run up to reapply my lip-gloss. He came closer, and just as I was about to close my eyes, he kissed me on the cheek. HUH????
He said, "This is the way you want it, right?" I just nodded like an idiot. I watched him pull away in his beast of a 1978 Thunderbird and felt sick. I wanted him. Bad. But I wanted to be a good friend too.

Luckily, my friend knew exactly what was going on. She realized that Todd didn't like her that way and she encouraged me to go for it. I know, how lucky am I to have her? We are still the best of friends!

Since we didn't have cell phones, Myspace, or really anything cool back then I think I actually had to call him on a landline. He came and got me and we went driving around. That ugly car he drove ended up being a total pimp mobile because the windows were practically black they were tinted so dark. Our first kiss was in my driveway. I still remember that The Flame by Cheap Trick was playing. It was perfect.

Todd and I were together for a long time. Like two and a half years. We were wonderful together and horrible together. We took turns breaking each others hearts until the final time. I took him to my junior prom because the guy I really wanted to go with (who I will refer to as, the biggest mistake I ever made) was going with someone else. The deal was that after prom I would dump Todd and TBMIEM and I would be together forever. Todd was onto me and came to my house two weeks before prom saying that he wasn't going to go if I was just going to break up with him. I did what any seventeen-year-old girl would do when faced with the prospect of no date for prom, I lied my butt off. I dumped him the minute he dropped me off the morning after prom. Sorry, Todd.

Anyway, as I got older, I realized how lucky I was that Todd was my first real boyfriend. I was so naive and in love. For just a boy, he was pretty careful with my heart. I also realized that even though he may have caused me some pain back then, it wasn't about me, and it didn't mean that he didn't love me. Because for a while I know that he did.

What I'm reading now....You had me at Halo by Amanda Ashby
xo,
Steph~
REVENGE OF THE HOMECOMING QUEEN, OUT NOW!
www.stephaniehale.com