Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Stuck in the middle with you...

(For anyone who's curious, the haunted spice rack on eBay sold for $232.50!) high school, I was part of a trio. Three really close friends. Inseparable. Two girls and one guy. We were bestest friends and like brother and sisters. We hung out together, did homework together (even did each other's some times), went off campus to lunch together, did stuff on the weekend, and were basically joined at the hips three-ways.

Our senior year, I noticed that my two friends would disappear more and more. They weren't always available for lunch or homework or riding around after school. Then, I caught them making out in her car. Needless to say, I was shocked, horrified...and hurt. I think secretly, both of us had always had a crush on him and hoped something would blossom...but why was it her and not me? They both tried to comfort me that "nothing will change" and we'll all still be friends. But how can you go back to how things were when you're clearly the third (undesired) wheel?

This happened two other times to me in my college years. Obviously I can't learn. Each time, I felt betrayed, idiotic, and lonely over the loss of the unique friendship. I also wondered why wasn't I the one the friend chose? Which leads to typical teen self-doubt, lack of self-confidence, and overall fear of rejection.

I'm thinking of including this type of situation in a future YA book since it's a really emotional thing that a growing teenage girl has to deal with and overcome to be a confident, strong woman.

Have you ever found yourself to be the third wheel or odd man out in a special relationship? What did you do when you found out? How did you cope with it?

Would love your feedback!

Marley = )

GHOST HUNTRESS Series (Coming May 2009, Houghton Mifflin)
SORORITY 101: Zeta or Omega? (Available from Puffin Books)
SORORITY 101: The New Sisters (Available from Puffin Books)


Kristen Painter said...

In a sitch like that, I tend just to let it happen and go do something on my own. I can't say that's happen in such a way that I actually remember it, tho.

Hmm. I wonder if I ever did it to anyone else?

Gena Showalter said...

Absolutely has happened, and like Kristen, I wonder if I did it to someone else. It hurts but it does open the door for you to allow other people in your life.

Maria Geraci said...

I think everyone has been in this sort of situation. Definitely very high schoolish, so it's perfect YA:)

The Girl You Used to Know said...

in high school, yes. I was the 3rd friend. my two best friends in the world hooked up our Sr. year. It hurt, because i had crushed on the boy for a long damn time.

Then came college. And the same boy (who I was still very good friends with) hooked up with my college roommate and that's when I realized it wasn't really about me. It was about them. Which was a good thing for me to realize otherwise I would've spent a lot of time wallowing over something that really wasn't about me at all.

And I'm still friends with all of the above. :) Which I'm grateful for, because they are great people.

The Girl You Used to Know said...

ps. I definitely think this would make a great YA story. It's definitely a prevalent high school thing.

stephhale said...

Definitely great YA material. I think pretty much everybody has been picked over and wondered why. :)

Simone Elkeles said...

I went to overnight camp with my friends Reyna and Mindy. since I cried almost the entire time (home-sickness) they hated me. But I always seem to be in a best friend thing with three girls. Most of the time, it was no problem.

Dona Sarkar-Mishra said...

I am actually writing about something like this in my new book....I'm glad (maybe not GLAD, but you know!) to see its a relatable problem!

Marley Gibson said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Marley Gibson said...

Oops...that was laden with typos! Thanks to everyone for weighing in!!

= )

Heather Davis said...

This so happened to me throughout my teenhood. It's a great topic for a book. It hurts to suddenly be that third wheel.