Saturday, May 26, 2007

The Rules

When it comes to girls, there seem to be certain rules that guys have:

1) Don’t call her the day or two after she gives you her number... For some guys this stretches to a week. (Ugh. If you’re going to ask for the digits, guys – use them!)

2) Don’t let her know you really like her at first. (Yeah, we like the mystery....not!)

3) Don’t get all mushy with her in from of your guy friends. (Wouldn’t want them to think you actually like her – see #2 above.)

This stuff is kind of helpful when if comes to writing guy characters – even if you’re writing in 1st person from the heroine’s perspective, you still have to be aware of the guy’s emotional arc. You know?

Some basic girl rules:

1) Don’t go on a date with a guy your friend is crushing on. (This one can be hard to follow – but it could save your friendship! And, really, she’ll get over her crush eventually, right?)

2) Don’t call a guy’s friends to check up on his whereabouts. (Unless you are fully convinced the dude is a cheater, let me add – because if he’s not, then he is going to be pissed you’re trying to track him down.)

3) Don’t call him or text him too much, or he may get overwhelmed. (This one is pretty true. What is that thing about how women use 3x as many words in a day as men?)

My own rules are pretty simple.

1) Don’t date a guy with too many rules. (i.e. picky eaters who hate every vegetable imaginable and email you ahead of time with their list or guys who are too set in their ways to have fun or try something new.)

2) Don’t tell your mom about a guy until you’ve been on at least three dates. (Otherwise, she will try to invite him to Grandma’s house for brunch!)

3) Don’t date a guy who chews tobacco. (Uh, duh!)

4) Always call or email to thank a guy for a date, even if it was just coffee! (This is just polite, people. Even if he doesn’t call you ever again, at least you’ve been classy. )

5) If you have to break up with someone, do it in person – or at the very least on the phone. No voice message goodbyes, text breakups, email dumpings, or Post-it dismissals. No aside here -- that’s just so uncool.

So, do you have your own personal rules? Or, if you’ve already snagged your Significant Other -- what were the rules back when you first met?
Happy weekend!
Heather Davis is the author of
Never Cry Werewolf
coming in 2008 from HarperCollins
What I'm reading this week....Leaving Paradise by Simone Elkeles!


stephhale said...

Oh Heather, I'm cracking up over here.
I'm loving your rules!
Do you guys remember that RULES book that was so popular back in about 96 or 97? I'm ashamed to admit that I bought it. I tried really hard to follow the rules, like not accepting a Saturday night date after Wednesday, not calling the guy, etc. I can't really remember. I don't think it was the book but I did meet my hubby soon after. A few years later I found out both of those women were divorced. I thought that was kind of a hoot. I had assumed they were like The Goddesses of Love or something.
I say go with your gut. :)

Me said...

Hmmm.... Heather, some of these sound familiar. =)

All your rules are great (well, the guy ones aren't great, but totally true). Sometimes they're hard to follow, though... And I agree with Steph on following your gut. If he's the right guy you'll know he's the right guy and the rules won't matter. (Or at least so say my parents, who knew on their first date that they were going to get married... and still believe it forty years later.)


TinaFerraro said...

Great fun, Heather!

I'm not sure I had any rules, per se, just gut reactions to guys and whether their idiocryncracies were something I could live with or not.

For me, negativity was a total deal breaker. If my date complained too much, he would essentially start disappearing before my eyes...

TJ Brown said...

Okay, I am so not going to tell you how my dh and I met.... let's just say I broke every rule in the book... and we've been married for 19 years this year:)

GeminiWisdom said...

My personal rules:

~ non-smoker

~ no ghetto fabulous

~ no Scrubs

~ has a job

~ has a car

~ social drinker only

~ likes to dance

~ can make me laugh

alexgirl said...

Hah! Rules. rules are so funny. I don't think I really have any. (who am i kidding? i probably have a million, i'm just trying to sound "cool"--and I can't think of any).
I love your rule about not telling Mom til you've been on at least 3 dates. Such a good rule. Otherwise Mom starts knockin' down your door wanting to know how the new relationship is going and it's totally annoying.

Heather Davis said...

Gemini --

I love that "no Scrubs" -- you are so right on.