Thursday, October 26, 2006

Keep your friends close & your enemies closer or should it be the other way around?

Crush of the week: Barry Watson, star of What about Brian?

How hot is this guy? Are you guys watching this show? It started mid-season last season and I got hooked. I was scared it was going to get the ax, but it seems stronger than ever now. It deals with several themes: infidelity, infertility, but mostly deception amongst close friends. Here's a recap if you aren't watching.
Brian (played by hottie on the right) falls in love with Marjorie, who just so happens to be engaged to Brian's b/f/f/Adam (hottie from Legally Blonde, can't remember his name to lazy to google). Brian and Marjorie kissed last season and got emotionally tangled up in each other. Brian took off and Adam and Marjorie planned the wedding of the century. Brian showed up right before the wedding, made out with Marjorie again, and she ended up leaving Adam at the altar.
If any of you have read Emily Giffin's delicious novel, Something Borrowed, it's basically the same concept. Girl sleeps with her best friend's fiancee, etc.
Deception is so painful, but everyone loves to read and watch it. My worst betrayal happened when I was in high school. A girl I had been b/f/f's with since kindergarten slept with my boyfriend when I was in Hawaii on vacation with my parents. I didn't find out for almost a year. In between that time she had come to a surprise birthday party for me and sat by me in Economics and joked the entire year. When I found out, I was convinced she was the devil. Unfortunately, it took me a while to figure out it was really him that was the devil.
As I got older I realized that sometimes people get themselves into situations beyond their control. Sometimes I still have to remind myself that it isn't all about me. Two people could commit the ultimate betrayal and honestly not give the third party a thought until it was too late. I could never have understood that at 17 though. I was convinced the act was done purely out of spite, not lust.
What constitutes a betrayal anyway? Is it a betrayal if you see a friend's wife out with someone else and don't tell him? What if your best friends husband hits on you and you don't tell her? Even though you haven't done anything to intentionally hurt your friend are you still betraying them by keeping quiet? What's the worst betrayal you ever suffered?
So much for the light and fluffy posts this week, huh?
All that matters is what's long as your outside is wearing the tiara.REVENGE OF THE HOMECOMING QUEEN, coming from Berkley Jam in July 2007


Marley Gibson said...

Something Borrowed is the best book I've read all year (haven't finished Simone's yet!) because it was just so...real and emotional and you couldn't help but root for the heroine.

I had a betrayal at my Sweet 16 party. My best friend, who knew I had a massive crush on this guy, made a purposeful and deliberate move on him at my party, dancing with him and ending up in a car in my backyard kissing him. That was hard. But looking back...we were 16...that happens. Still, it hurt back then. I'll definitely have to write about it one day.

Marley = )

Dona Sarkar-Mishra said...

I liked Something Borrowed too, although I have to say I think I'm more of a Darcy than a Rachel. I found Rachel to be a bit too dependent and needy...but I did see what Dex saw in her :)

I'm anxiously awaiting my copy of Something Blue from Amzn..

Regarding betrayl...I think that if you see your friend's wife out with someone else, and he's a true friend, you owe it to him to tell him. I know if I was in his place, the person who gives me this bad news is the person who wants the best for me. But that's just me. I'd rather know and tell the truth rather than hide it behind something rose-colored.

Great topics lately guys! Perfect fodder for those angsty teen novels!

Anonymous said...

Sheesh, Steph, where to begin?

When I was a freshman in college I dated this guy who was all wrong for me. Sure, I had a thing for Bad Boys but this one was into drugs and not all that cute. But I kinda felt sorry for him and I didn't want to be snobby so I became his girlfriend. Come to find out, my best friend and he were doing the deed behind my back. And what's worse, my roomie and two other girlfriends knew but didn't say anything. My supposed best friend finally told me sophomore year. Funny thing was, I was angrier at my friends who never told me than the ones who were sleeping together.

I think that as a general rule of thumb, it's best to tell the person who's being betrayed, if it's something you'd want to know if you were in their shoes. But I speak from some very recent experience: things might never be the same.

Wendy Toliver

stephhale said...

Oh Wendy, that sucks. Thanks for sharing though! :)


Kelly (Lynn) Parra said...

Oh betrayal...My first serious boyfriend cheated on me. The thing is I kept suspecting it but no one would confirm and he kept denying and I didn't know what to do. So I went to the girl, who had a boatload of problems herself and she told me the truth. I just couldn't stand not knowing for sure, obviously because I was still with him. When I found out, I was crushed. During HS this was big drama. Looking back I wish I hadn't cared that much. I couldn't give a flying flip now! ;) Teen years suck sometimes, guess that's why I'm writing about them. haha

Me said...

Everything is big drama in high school! Even your friend crushing on your crush is drama in high school. Let alone actually hooking up with him.

My worst betrayal was in college. The entirety of my senior year I was beyond in love with a certain actor in the theatre department. We were working on a show and I was ... well ... working up to it, you know. Even asked him out once--and he said yes! Then, at a late night cast part (the kind that devolved into drunken Truth or Dare) my good friend went off with him in his bedroom for the night. While I slept on his futon!!! I was so destroyed.

I think with the maturity of age we come to realize that for the most part people do not act out of spite against you so much as selfish concern for themselves. Although, I have to say that I knew girls in Junior High and High School who most definitely would have done anything for spite!

When it comes down to it I know two things for certain. 1) I could never forgive that sort of ultimate betrayal--by either party. 2) I would definitely want to know ... I totally don't buy the whole "it's not my place to interfere" thing.

holly cupala said...

Hi, Steph! I followed the link from your interview email and found all this fun stuff to read (yeah, like I need one more addiction to keep me from writing). :D